In my last adoption update I shared with you that we were so close to receiving a referral before the Hurricane struck Haiti. A couple of days ago we received work that our referral did go through and we were matched with a child. But our U.S. worker realized there was an issue. The wrong box was checked on a form. In short terms, the birth mom had signaled that the child should be only available for adoption in Haiti. But those in Haiti thought she didn’t fully understand the options before her and so they were going to take it before a judge in Haiti and see if the judge will allow her to reconsider.
Today we got the answer from the judge. The answer is no. It’s past a deadline for her to make changes. This means the child is required to stay in Haiti and the options for the child are basically someone sponsoring them at the crèche, or hopefully finding someone who is willing to foster them in country. It’s devastating. And maddening. And completely disheartening.
As for our adoption, we go back into the pile of dossiers for a new referral. There is no information available at the moment as to what to expect for a wait time. We waited 23 months for this one. I really don’t even know what to say.
After receiving the news today there was a long period of me praying – which really looked more like me pleading and yelling out the window at God. And then there was a long period of me crying for the child who will not get to come to our home. A child who has such an uncertain future. It’s really all just wrong. I don’t have any eloquent words to describe the situation. It’s just unfair.
But after going through these emotions I settled in on one train of thought. The only thought that is really going to get us through this seemingly never-ending adoption process:
God is still good.
He is still on the throne.
He still has a plan for our family.
He still has a plan for this child who will not be joining our family.
God is still God, and I am not.
I know I am probably going to cycle back through all of these different emotions over the coming weeks. But I hope at the end I will continue to come back to this same place. So for now we are going to sit still and wait for Him to move. Wait for him to show us what we are supposed to do next. And at this moment I have no idea just what that may be.